Aristotle
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Now with the blog beginning with this universally used quote that is generally used to promote hard work and persistence, I can imagine that many would be rolling their eyes and imagining:
“HERE WE GO AGAIN! ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE BLOGS THAT IS GOING TO TELL ME THAT I AM NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH AND I WILL NOT BE EXCELLENT DUE TO A LACK OF HABITS.”
That’s not the point of this blog at all. I want to simplify and demistify what the concept of habits is all about and also give a clearer path that will help in successfully creating and maintaining a habit. I want to make the process easier and highlight that forming and breaking habits is not for the smart, successful, old, rich or broken people.
It’s for everyone and the journey to creating a habit can be enlightening , fun and exciting at the same time. Think of creating a habit as a trip to an exotic resort, one full of new discoveries. The only difference is that your mind is the map, your body is the vehicle and the habit you want to create is the destination.
What is a habit
“That boy has a bad habit of…”
“She is developing this habit…”
“He seems to have a good habit of…”
“It is evident that he a … habit”
“… is becoming habitual”
Considering that almost everything we do is attributed to a habit or a habitual pattern, no one really explains to us or teaches us what habits are, how they are formed and how to break them. Habits have become this mystical and unknown thing, and yet they play such an important role in our lives and this is made worse by the idea that habits are all intrinsic and we can not do much to alter, change or destroy them.
Now we get into a mindset that is forced to accept those bad habits and one that does not look to create new ones. An “it is what it is” attitude develops and thus a lot of people do not realise their full potential. One thing that we do not realise is that the habit that you call intrinsic at this moment, came out of something that you did repeatedly, under specific conditions, that has now become second-nature. A lot of the time we are actually not aware that we are making or breaking habits and for me that’s the saddest part of it all.
a habit is defined as:
“A settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.”
This is a dictionary definition. No wonder so many people think that habit formation or destruction is close to impossible. The only thing that we learn from this definition is that it is something we do a lot and it is hard to give up (talk about negativity from the onset!) Before we even get to talk about how satisfying habits can be, we are already talking about how difficult they are to give up (well thank you internet for empowering us.)
I would define a habit as “an action that is triggered by specific environmental cues that becomes automatic as time goes on.”
HOW TO CREATE A HABIT
- PICK THE ACTION
Well now I know that this may seem obvious, but you would be surprised at how important actually picking the action is. I personally feel that this is actually the most important step to forming a habit (or breaking one).
Picking the action involves thinking about what it is that you actually want to incorporate into your life on a daily or regular basis. This is picking the one thing that you as an individual actually want to become a part of who you are. Picking an action is deliberately looking at yourself and deciding to add something into your life.
This can stem from simply choosing to brush your teeth before you sleep everyday, reading a book every day, going for a walk or jog everyday, and so on. The list is endless and that’s the beauty of it, however, that’s also where people get trapped (they don’t pick an action or they pick too many actions to incorporate at one time).
No action is too small.
The main objective of picking a habit is to look deep into who you are as a person and identifying something that will help you become the person you want to become.
Lately, I have developed a habit of walking extra slowly when I come to the realisation that my day is very frantic and I am feeling rushed. I have found that this habit calms me down and allows me to think more clearly. I mention this habit in particular because it shows how simple a habit can be, and the impact that even this small habit can bring about a huge change.
2. ASK YOURSELF WHY? TO WHAT END?
This stage goes hand in hand with the first stage, however, I separated the stages because they are both important on their own.
This stage is the cement between the action that you have picked and the actual process of making it a habit.
This is your drive. Your reason “why” is your motivation and the reason that you want the action to become a part of who you are. This question makes the action more attainable and achievable. It is where the worth of your choice is hidden and the greatest part is that no one else in the world has to understand your reason.
You ask yourself:
“Why do I want to do this action on a regular basis?”
” Why do I want it to become a part of who I am?”
“What do I hope to gain from doing this regularly?”
Six months ago I decided to start reading my Bible and praying as soon as I woke up every single day. I would do this before making my bed or even brushing my teeth. It would be the first thing I did as soon as I opened up my eyes. I had picked the action, and now I needed to ask myself why I wanted to do this particular thing every day for the rest of my life. This was my reason: ” I believe in God and his Son, Jesus Christ, and I firmly believe that he has played a very vital part in my life for me to be the person I am today. I wanted to strengthen my relationship and build a connection with him on a more personal and deep level.” This was my motivation to wake up every day and do it consistently till this day.
3. PLAN THE HABIT
You have the intended action and you have asked yourself why you are starting this action and the reason you want it to become a habit.
The next step is the planning process.
The secret to planning a habit is to break down every single aspect of your habit to its simplest form. The more precise you are in the actual planning of the habit, the easier it will be to actually follow through with it. This becomes your plan of attack.
Some things to think about when planning your habit:
- Time of day.
- How long you want to do it for.
- It must be daily.
- Whether you can add it to an existing activity.
- It must be Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-oriented.
4. START
Now you have actually planned your action and you are ready to begin.
Go out there and start the action. Put it onto the pitch and actually do it. There is no point deciding what you want to do, asking yourself why you want to do it and planning the action to the smallest detail, only to then stop at the action bit.
The habit will not form by some miracle. It will not just float into your life and come to stay. Nothing happens on its own and everything needs action in order to happen.
The sooner you begin the habit, the sooner it will stick.
5. REWARD YOURSELF
This could actually be the most controversial part of actually making an action become a habit because if it is done wrongly, you risk the chance of messing it up.
When I first read up on rewarding yourself after performing your intended habit I was confused. I thought, “So after I do something, I must give myself a golden star for doing it”.
I began thinking of all the sweets and delicacies that I absolutely love. I would be getting something nice for doing for doing something that will benefit me in the future, a win-win for me.
Sounds nice, doesn’t it?
But that’s not the point. The reward must be something that has a direct or close link to the habit. There must be a relation between the action and reward.
So I have been aiming to go to the gym three times a week and before I even go to the gym I have an idea of what my reward will be.
After gym I go and I eat my lunch.
Now that may sound funny, but that’s where the secret of the reward is. I do not wait to eat so that I can gym. I gym so that I can go and replenish the energy that I have used up in the gym with the food. There is a direct link between me going to the gym and eating afterwards.
The reward must be something that you can only get after doing the action. A reward serves as instant gratification and motivation to continue the action. The action moves away from being a task to being something that will bring joy and happiness.
6. GET SUPPORTERS
This is another important aspect of habit formation.
A team of supporters can go a long way in actually making your habit become a part of who you are. This will create a support system that will encourage the change and help you with any difficulties that you may face.
Having people on your side and supporting you will give you energy and increase your dedication when the times get hard and you do not feel like doing the act. They will be your daily dose of energy and motivation.
Notice how I said get supporters and not just publicize your habit. The difference is in the fact that not all people you will tell will actually want you to succeed. Pick your support system wisely and this will make all the difference. You are going to want people that are almost as into your idea as you are, people that will constantly check on where you are with regards to your habit and people that will motivate you when the times get tough.
6a. ACCOUNTABILITY
Linked with the idea of getting a support system is the concept of accountability.
Having a good support system will also make you more accountable for what you do and whether or not you actually follow through with it.
Accountability is a key aspect of habit formation because you need to be able to answer for whether you have been doing what you set out to do. A great way to ensure accountability is to keep a track record of what you are doing. This can be in the form of a journal, a notepad in which you keep a summary of what you have done or a calendar that you mark off every day.
7. SMALL STEPS
Building a habit is not a 100m sprint. Building a habit that will become a part of you is a marathon, and as such there is a need for patience and persistence.
This means taking small steps everyday towards building the habit that you want. This involves (at the very least) actually performing the action.
This means just performing the act in its simplest form, to begin with, and building on it from there. Try not to add too many variations or intricacies to your action as this will just cause an overload.
7a. CHECK POINTS
Many people usually say that 21 days to form a habit and 90 days to make it a lifestyle. A lot of the time these figures make people short-sighted with regards to forming a habit and it takes away from the actual benefit of forming a habit.
Instead of making these days the end of the habit formation process, they should be used as checkpoints along the way. They should be used as times to recollect and re-evaluate our progress on the journey of forming a habit. They should be used to see how far we have come and how much we have actually developed during the process.
These are the seven steps that need to be taken into consideration when you plan on forming a habit. I feel that they are the basic foundation for creating a positive change in your life.
Habits are an integral part of who you are and as such I urge you to form your own, ones that you feel will benefit you in the future and that will make your life yours.
Give life the upper cut it deserves by forming your own unique habit that expresses and symbolises who you are.
Make your life personal.
Young Old Soul
Young Old Soul 